I haven’t been that happy this week. I’m sick of Winter. It snowed again today and frankly, I just don’t enjoy it. I’m eager for Spring to arrive. But it’s more than just the weather that’s getting me down.
I’m so worried about my knee. I realize that in the grand scheme of things, my stupid knee is far from the worst thing that could happen to me. I realize that there are lots of people in the world suffering from far more than a Baker’s cyst and a possible torn meniscus….but I’m selfish and can’t stop thinking about what it means for me. What it means is that right now I cannot run and I love to run. It also means that I cannot work out very easily because anything involving my legs causes pain. Finally, I worry what this means for Kilimanjaro. I meet with the surgeon on Wednesday to find out if I need surgery or not. Bizarre as it sounds, I hope I do because I feel like surgery is the only thing that is going to fix this. However, with surgery comes the possibility that I won’t heal in time for Kilimanjaro. Right now I am stressed with the thought that the surgery (if there is one) might not be scheduled right away.
Perhaps these all seem like silly things to stress over but when something such as working out, hiking, and running bring one such much joy, it’s hard not to feel lost when it’s missing from one’s life.
In the meantime, I need to get my diet under control. I plan to lose 10 pounds by Kilimanjaro. Right now I’m hovering around 120.8. I’d be happy if I could just get sub 115. My downfall is sugar and carbs and it’s so hard to kick them because I have such a response to them when I eat them. They make me happy, particularly soda.
On another note, I finished reading The White Masai. Horrible book! I wanted to slap that woman. I can’t bear to describe the book but if you’re interested, read the reviews on Amazon (read the ones rated 1 or 2 as they will give you the most accurate description).
Ok. It’s 1PM. I am going to get out of my pajamas and do something with today. The snow gave me the day off so I need to seize the day!